Always try to be the type of warrior who, when your feet touch the floor in the morning, the devil says – “Oh, crap, they’re up!”
You think you’ve got problems when you catch this new ‘pestilence’? Spare a thought for this poor chap, seems to have lived under the same natural law as we do, upset the government of his day, as we do, went about doing no harm, no loss, no injury, just like us, yet three days later he’s up and about again. Best ‘easter’ card ever, I’d say!!
Can you remember the days when our trains always had a ‘guard’? I am about to return from Bedford to Yorkshire, and, when I last did this journey, I found myself in trouble, having mis-typed the return date when booking my ticket. As the ‘guard’ (now styled ‘Revenue Protection Officer’) was getting ready to remostrate with me, I disarmed him, smiling sweetly, with “I’m in my 80th year, and doing my best to keep up with all today’s digital dogma. Now, how would you like to punish me?” I got off with a warning. The young chap one seat forward wasn’t so lucky, a £20 on the spot fine for having used the incorrect ‘discount card’.
We, up here on the Pennines in G-d’s own county, having heard that the Eton Mess has decided to have Londinium excoriated, do wish any Southern Softies, who now, for the first time, find themselves North of Watford Gap, a grand welcome. The attached illustrated phrase book may help you on your journey to meet us common folk, with common sense.
Click on’t first link sithee, then on’t Twitter link, an tha’ll get a list of signs and phrases.