‘All the world’s a stage…’

The present UK government today [14 August 2020] announces the latest scene in this farce – if you have been across that slim stretch of water which has served our nation so well for many generations, if you are returning from ‘La belle France’, you will have to self-isolate for 14 days, just in case you have brought that naughty oriental virus back with you? Did I just hear that correctly, ??

However, should you manage to cross that slim stretch of water in one of ‘Open Societies’ dinghies, the same government will arrange for you to stay in 4-star emergency accommodation at the British taxpayers’ expense. You probably won’t yet be speaking our language well; you will naturally want to make contact with others of your ethnicity , already resident here, who can help you in that direction, but, hang on! you won’t be able to do that, will you, because the people who guided you safely into harbour will have explained to you that you need to ‘self-isolate’. ..

Meanwhile, the vast majority of UK residents will each be in trouble if they go into a shop without a mask over their faces. Will somebody please grab the tiller before this great ship Britannia runs aground?!

P.S. If you ask nicely, I will send you the recipe for making your own Quinine, you know, the herbal cure which kept our worthy PM alive recently: then you won’t get sick with the nasty virus, and, if you’re already ill with it, there’s a fair chance you’ll survive.

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